


No One Really Chose This

by ilyena_sylph, Merfilly



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka is an adult, Drug-Induced Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, and then the kriff hits the fan, because neither of them have a choice, but Rex still doesn't see it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 07:47:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6896347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilyena_sylph/pseuds/ilyena_sylph, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a universe where Sidious was found out but escaped, the war drags on. On a simple enough mission, Ahsoka gets drugged, and the rest of them have to cope with the fallout.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One Really Chose This

**Author's Note:**

> Explores an issue of non-ability to give consent, emotional duress, and the repercussions of someone having grown up with the one she wants as her lover. PLEASE do not read if any of that makes you uncomfortable.

As the war drug into its fourth year, worsened ever since Sidious had been found out and driven away from the Republic (and oh Anakin wished the Council had managed to catch him instead of letting him go to ground with the Separatists), every fleet and legion was looking for any advantage to bring the conflict to an end. Anakin and Ahsoka were often on the leading edge, sometimes just beyond it, as they worked tirelessly to find the right break for their beleaguered forces.

They had come to the planet, with its assortment of smugglers and scoundrels, slavers and other scum, on the trail of a lead about the fugitive Sith. Anakin had a squad of troops being obvious as the Republic force. Ahsoka, on the other hand, was slipping around the edges with four hand-picked troopers in hastily rigged 'bounty hunter' disguises. The plan was for Anakin to flush the prey, and Ahsoka to capture when they ran.

The five hidden taskforce members had separated out quite a bit, all in short-burst comm range of one another, but not actually in eye contact in the bustling bazaar. Ahsoka was intent on the hunt, her teeth baring occasionally as she saw too many signs of the slave trade. However, she was intent on doing well by her Master with her part of the mission.

++++

The man had a large debt running on one of his better employer's tabs, and he was beginning to despair of paying it off when he saw her. Gorgeous little thing with red-bronze skin, a different shade than any Twi'lek he'd seen. She had white markings on her face, but the contrast of the blue and white headtails against that dark skin looked quite exotic. 

He saw the glint of chains hanging back from her horns… wasn't a Twi'lek, but maybe that would just add to the price he could get off her. It didn't matter she probably belonged to someone; his ship was ready to get him off world anyway.

He checked his pouch… blast but he didn't have a sedative. He did have a Ryloth cocktail, and he licked his lips. That would let him have a little fun with her before he cleaned her up, and would definitely make her manageable, once he got his hands on those headtails of hers. A quick load of the dart, and he moved to the right angle to take her down, where he could get to her as quickly as he could.

++++

Anakin felt his world spin and surge in panic/fear/fire before he realized it was lash-back through the bond with his padawan. A moment later and Fives was on the comm.

"Commander's down, moving to her, small squad center on her beacon!" The commands were delivered sharply, professionally, reaching out to the other three working with him. Anakin saw his own men jerk their attention to him, to see if they were staying on what had been a fruitless mission so far, or if they would assist their brothers not in uniform.

"Get in sight of them and keep your eyes out for whatever _took_ her down," Anakin told them, didn't bother to wait for an acknowledgment, and followed the sense of panic/fire/wild that was his padawan's mind at a dead run. He'd grown up in tighter markets than this, it wasn't hard to judge the path through. Four years into their partnership, and Ahsoka was more than ready to actually take the trials… but refusing.

With his abilities, he was able to get there, finding Fives kneeling beside her, blaster in one hand, other fingers on the pulse he had finally found in her throat. He'd panicked at first; the main artery was not where it was in a human and required slightly more pressure to find.

There was a rapidly growing clearing as Ahsoka's men had waded through the crowd to get to her… and Echo was standing over a man's body, a dart caster a meter or so in front of him.

"Pulse is too fast, and I don't think she's actually unconscious, sir, so much as… incapacitated?" Fives reported, looking for any further threat. At his words, Ahsoka made a small sound that sent Anakin's hackles straight up, one that was far too primal. The lek he could see from where she was curled on her side was twitching violently.

Anakin dropped down next to her, that low, primal noise still unsettling him, and he reached for her mind as his fingers slid to her pulse-point to see what Fives considered 'too fast', reaching for her presence in the Force. "Snips, Snips I'm here, buddy," he said/thought at her, trying to draw her attention. 

~Chaos, feelings, pressure… touch, yes…~

There was little in the way of intelligent reaction, as if the higher functions were dulled, but the primitive responses were overwhelming in intensity. Ahsoka writhed toward the touch on her, having mewed sharply at Fives moving his hand away.

Fives stood to get the dart caster, while Echo verified the man was dead, wishing he'd been a little less accurate in his blaster shot so it could linger. The Commander was barely adult! Why had he targeted her?!

"Shh," Anakin murmured to her, soothing as much as he could, even as he carefully gathered her up into his arms. Fives was on the dart and caster, they'd get a chemical analysis from that, Echo was on the -- corpse. Well, hell, they couldn't interrogate a corpse, but he couldn't blame his man for the response. He'd have probably taken his head off himself, if he'd been closer. 

"Any sign that anyone cares about our dead 'friend' there?" he asked -- as his padawan writhed in his arms and her lekku flushed even darker/brighter, their twitches screaming the same hunger/need at him that her mind was. Those three things clicked together in his mind and he spat a savage Huttese curse, realizing exactly what had happened. 

Hate and horror warred in his mind, and he barked at the third of Ahsoka's men, Joc, "Get a ship down to us, _now_. There, that courtyard!" 

"Yes sir!" Joc said, moving away to call their drop ship to them. 

"None, sir… people seem to be not willing to cross our blaster paths," Echo growled, even as he found his eyes dropping to the Commander and the way she was… oh that was… 

Fives caught Echo's unease, glanced, and then called out. "Shield wall, blasters out, men!" he called to his people, getting a wall of brothers between gawkers and the way the Commander was trying to twine into the General's hold on her. Like kriff he wasn't going to protect her from whatever that drug was doing to her!

"Shh," Anakin murmured to his Snips, trying to keep her from completely wrapping around him. He could try healing, if he could just find some calm, but that wasn't coming to him, not with his padawan's body contorting quite so... supple and sleek against him. Nausea roiled across his mind behind the fury, and as her fingers ran across his cheek, he went for the brute-force approach and pushed 'sleep' into her mind, going past her defenses and the drug to make her go under. 

He'd have to remember to praise Fives for that instant reaction, the protective maneuver to keep Snips safe and unseen by any others. Even held unconscious, her lekku were all moving. 

Mother had never wanted him anywhere near the brothels, and Watto hadn't had any interest in humanoid sex, but he'd seen these drugs in action anyway... too many back on Tatooine were fond of public punishments for misbehaving property. He needed Aayla, right now, but the 327th was at least four sectors away. 

"Sir, ship inbound," Joc reported. "What do you want done with the body?" Leaving it here sounded just fine to him, given that the filth had attacked his Commander.

Appo, handling the troops in armor for this drop, filed away that Huttese he'd heard to look up later. The way the crowd had parted even wider than just for their presence… well, good curses were handy to know.

"Sir, the information isn't likely to turn up now," he advised his General, eyes scanning outward. "But a few men might be able to learn more about this attack, make certain it wasn't because of the Seppies."

"No, it's not," Anakin agreed, holding Ahsoka against his chest, "but you're right. Joc, search the body, find anything you can, and leave it for the locals while you follow up. Boro, Hil, you're with him, Appo, you run the search. Clear?" 

"Crystal!" the men said in unison, moving away from the shield wall… which made Fives, Echo, and the ones left spread out a bit more even if it did sound like Ahsoka had stopped… well, stopped.

The courtyard they advanced on rapidly emptied of both beings and the livestock around the edges, given that Anakin's Force presence and the sheer menace of a riled clone detachment was unnerving at best. Nor did it take long for the ship to arrive, open for entry only on the side closest to the men.

"Straight for the _Resolute_ 's medical dock," Anakin called up at the pilot -- felt like Whipsaw -- as he jumped on, cradling his Snips in against his chest. She was still shifting against his hold a little, even in her sleep, and hate poured through him again before he could try to push it away. That anyone had thought to do this to _her_ , his best friend, his wisecracking impudent insolent brat of a padawan... 

He really hoped that slaving scum had had a partner or two.... no. no. Not what he needed to be thinking. He needed to calm down enough to start purging her system of the drugs. If he could do work that fine on someone else, anyway, he'd never tried on anyone but himself. "And somebody route a comm to Kix and hold it for me -- eyes _front!_ " 

"Yes sir!" came back the emphatic agreement on that, with what sounded suspiciously like a growl from Fives. But then, if Rex wasn't available, he often was the one assigned as her personal trooper…

Kix got the page on his wrist unit from Echo. "Brother, get in your office, kick everyone else out, and I'm patching you to the General," Echo told their medic, who was moving from the first words.

By the time he'd locked the door, he had a secure line with Skywalker, and fear in his gut. What had happened? It was just a quick info hunt!

"Sir?"

"Some enterprising piece of slaving scum decided Ahsoka looked like a fine prize," Anakin answered bluntly. "Drugged her pretty nastily. I'm going to spell you the call-name for the possibilities, pull it and the others you'll find attached... and figure out what sedative won't send her into anaphylaxis or worse while we work out how to treat her." He had to think about it for a moment, but he came up with the Huttese spelling for the most common 'name' for that kriffing -- 

\-- and that was his rage rolling up again. 

Kix was typing it in as it was spelled, and his eyes went dangerously narrow. He quickly cross-referenced and searched, a steady flow of Mando'a cursing in his mind if not on his lips, as he kept finding contra-indications in the common treatments because of either Ahsoka's age (too young, too at risk to side effects, no immunity to certain chemicals) or her species (Togruta and Twi'lek were close, except in all the ways they were not).

"General… not having a lot of luck," he admitted when the silence had stretched too long. "A few possibles… that I don't have components for."

"Kriffing _hells_ ," Anakin swore, though that was exactly what he'd been afraid of, "I really didn't want that to be the answer, Kix. Keep looking, we're almost to you and I'm going to make another call." 

Why were they on the wrong side of the kriffing galaxy from Kamino?! 

Anakin shifted his weight, keeping Snips still, feeling the fever starting to warm her body, and got his wrist comm free. Operating it with the Force was not fun, but at least he had plenty of strength to use. He had to hook to the dropship's comm suite to get enough range, and then punched the connect for Shaak Ti. 

She might not be his favorite of the Masters, but she was Togruta, she might know something else to help. 

Shaak Ti was not accustomed to direct requests for her attention, but that meant she paid closer heed to them. "Shaak Ti here," she answered her comm band, turning her wrist over to let its tiny projector activate if there was a visual. "Skywalker?" she asked as the small image clarified.

"Master Ti. Ahsoka's been hit with one of _those_ cocktails. my medic's having trouble finding anything we can use to help her... advice, please?" 

"One of those… oh!" No, not little Soka, fierce hunter at too young an age to even know what she'd managed! Anger burst in her heart, making her lekku twitch. "Has she chosen a sexual partner yet?" Shaak Ti was not shying from the implications, and she hoped the young woman had. There were very few sedatives that actually worked on Togruta physiology without causing lingering issues of half-deafness or reduced nerve sensitivity, either of which could cripple them for life. "There is one biochem that should be safe to administer if she has not," and she named it, spelling it out for Anakin.

Anakin burned that into his mind for Kix, even as he made a shocked noise at Shaak Ti's blunt question. "I -- no, I don't think she has, she's only -- " Well. She wasn't as young as she had been, but he still thought of her as a kid most of the time! "Okay. Let me spell that back at you," he said, making himself focus to be sure he had it correct. 

"And that's the only one? Kix is right, the others are all... problems?" 

"Anything else is likely to only mitigate, not cure, or possibly even advance the problem," Shaak Ti said. "As far as sedatives go, our people do not respond well to them, and you could leave her with permanent disability to try one." She made herself be calm as she answered his questions. "Skywalker, you and she are both Jedi. It is no different than a medical treatment at this point to induce her body to produce the correct biochems."

He looked at her holo, aghast and unsettled -- but the thought of hurting Snips, leaving her permanently damaged (the interface between his arm and his durasteel hand ached for a moment) was... that wasn't possible. 

If he had to -- to do that with her -- he would... but Force grant they had the right med aboard. "We're docking," he said as he felt the tractor beam touch the hull, "I -- thank you, Master. I'll be back in touch." 

"Please do, Skywalker. The little huntress is dear to me in many ways," Shaak Ti said, before allowing the connection to end.

The men lined up around Anakin and their Commander, who was making soft noises again, ones that were probably the trilling language of her people, given how active her lekku were moving again. Not a one of the men looked at them directly, but they also were intent on being a privacy curtain to medical too.

Anakin tried, again, to put her under, to get her to sleep... but her body, not her mind, was fighting him this time, and she was squirming a little in his arms. Thankfully they were in medical's own docking bay and it only took a minute to get to where Kix was standing with a private surgical suite open. 

"Dismissed, boys," he told the men that had helped guard her, and was entirely pleased he didn't have to say it twice. The suite sealed shut behind he and Kix, and he moved to lay her down. "Master Shaak Ti -- she's Togruta, too -- suggested a compound to help, did you find," and he spelled it out, "in what you were looking through?" 

"Certainly, sir," Kix growled out. "And there's not a gram of it aboard, either!" Kix shifted to get the ice packs he had brought to handle the fever… and realized he wasn't certain where to safely put them. Well, he could start by putting them around her as soon as Skywalker laid her down, careful to not touch the twitching lekku. "It's highly controlled, possibly because it can be addictive to humans," he added to explain that. "Sir, none of the sedatives I have can be used on her with any positive effect. Controlling the fever only delays the metabolic shutdown that drug induces if it is not countered in a timely fashion."

Anakin swapped to Toydarian to tell the universe what he thought of its sense of humor and irony, carefully resettling one of the ice-packs, his fingers resting in the center of her chest. She moaned and pushed to the touch, her eyes half-opening but seeing nothing, her lekku twining in what he knew was seductive lines. "I know, Kix. I _know_ what it does... and I refuse to lose her to that. 

"But this is one treatment I'm not going to ask of you. So get out and lock us down." 

Kix hesitated; he could feel and hear all of his General's horror at the idea of losing their Commander, and knew this was tearing at the man. "I would, sir. As her medic…" His voice fell away at the dangerous flat slate-gray now in Skywalker's eyes. "I'll lock it down, sir." He moved to escape, to make certain that nothing happened to the pair, and he hoped he never, ever saw that look on his General's face again.

Anakin heard the door seal and sat down on the edge of the cot, focusing on her, on what he knew was the one other chance they had, and he poured the Force into her, taking stock of her body and trying to bring up her immune system to help him fight it... but it was already far too deep. "Kriffing hells. 

"Oh, little one, I hope you forgive me for this, for not being able to heal you... wake up, Snips. Wake up for me." 

Ahsoka felt… so hot. She hated being hot, but there were little pressures of cold on her skin, and that… oh that felt so good, an intoxicating contrast of temperatures. She could hear the sound of a voice, male… strong male, good hunter, clan… She shifted, undulating her body and lekku alike in invitation before the tenor of the voice truly settled in her montrals.

It was wrong.

[Mate?!] she demanded in her own language, falling back to the tongue she'd learned before she could even walk in her frustration at the wrong male being with her. Her body was burning, her lekku were so tight with the pulse of life in them! Where was her mate?

Her mind was awash in images of white smoothness, of black fabric gliding over hard muscles, the ache of her whole body pulsing with desire at the thought of her mate's perfect design.

He didn't understand much Togruta, the whistles mostly blending together to his ear, but her thoughts were loud enough to make the translation obvious, and he froze, his hand light on her as he tried to get his mind wrapped around what her thoughts were telling him. She'd decided on one of the boys? 

" _Haran_ , Snips, who?" he asked, her desire and frustration sliding around over his mind, as his fingers stroked very lightly on her side. He couldn't demand one of their men come in here, with her like this... Jedi to Jedi, Master to padawan, was one thing, but that -- he had to try to distract her. 

Still wrong voice, and she hissed at him, sharp teeth bared before an ice-pack brushed her right lek and she mewled at the sensation, sliding her hands down along her body, not liking that there was cloth in her way. Why wasn't _he_ here? 

That irritation drew the brother's face sharply into focus, clean-cut and framed by pale hair kept cropped so short. She itched to touch that hair, to run her fingers across it, while he -- 

He did _not_ want to see those images, see Ahsoka's fantasies play out, and he dropped out of her mind. But at least now he knew which of them it was that she wanted. Bleached hair and the sharp edge of cheekbones and jaw, the command-presence that radiated even just in her thoughts of him... Rex. 

_Rex_? Really? 

"Snips," he murmured, while he tried to catch up to that idea and figure out if he actually could ask any such thing of their Captain, hating himself as he slid his hand to run his touch down her right lek, tracing the chevron pattern with a fingertip. 

The snarl and twist of Ahsoka's body, the way her fingers came up in a clawed strike, made it clear that the drug was pushing her into a singular state of mind concerning acceptable mates. Intellectually, Anakin knew it would eventually lose to the sheer need of her body, but what if that did more damage when she came out of it?

Ahsoka's mind twisted around the fact she hungered, she needed to feel her mate, but strong as this male was, he was not hers! She settled her hands on her own lekku, running fingers up them slowly, and that only added to her desires rather than easing the burn. She could not help but move, hips sliding of their own volition as her back arched some, pushing hard at the bond… that had a Force-blind person on the other end, unable to hear her demands for him to be here.

"Okay... okay, Snips, sweetheart," Anakin said, took a breath, averted his eyes from his padawan moving like that, touching herself like that, and fiddled with his wrist comm until he had the command channel. "Rex." 

"Yes, General?" The voice was taut, strung tight like wire to Anakin's ears, who knew the voices and manners of all of his men so well. Rex was not a happy man, aware of movements within his command that centered on one of theirs being down… possibly even knowing which one by now, given Fives' efficiency.

"I need you in medical. And Rex? Run." 

Ahsoka reacted to the sound of that name being spoken by twisting even more, soft bird-like sounds escaping her as she felt the burning sharpen drastically. Her mental imagery was thick with fantasies she'd had, all of them with Rex still clad in the black body suit, telling Anakin that there had only ever been intent, not actual consummation. Not that he really wanted to be seeing any of his men naked in his padawan's mind!

"Yes, sir!" Rex cut the comm, barked that Fives was in command, and took off like a shot. His speed and ability to dodge sudden obstacles was enough to win him medical swiftly… to be balked by Kix standing guard. 

Anakin had promptly switched channels, calling to his medic. "Kix, she's... fighting me. Let Rex in, when -- "

Kix was startled, but as Rex came in sight, he shifted from on-guard to moving for the override on the locks. "Captain… be careful with her," was his only caution before he opened the door enough for Rex to slide inside.

Fresh scent… familiar sound of heart and breath… Ahsoka bowed up and mewed, reaching toward her mate, the right male, the one she wanted and had chosen for herself.

"Sir?!" Rex demanded, his eyes tearing from that… obscene and all-too inviting grind of his Commander's body on the cot to focus on his General. He knew he was radiating fear, sharply, could almost smell it on himself, because Ahsoka… ~~his Ahsoka~~ his Commander was obviously badly ill.

Anakin approved, completely, of Rex's instant look away from Snips, the mix of fear and concern in his Captain's eyes and face and mind, and his lips twisted in nothing like a smile. "You're right, Rex. She's been poison -- no, Snips," he said, stretching out with the Force to keep Ahsoka pinned on the bed instead of flinging herself off of it to pounce on Rex. 

"No, I said," he repeated to her, feeling his heart shredding at the noises she was making, his eyes meeting Rex's again. "Poisoned. With one of the drugs they use to make Twi'lek brothel-slaves so... willing. We don't have any of the antidotes, we can't sedate her, and it won't wear off. 

"Or, it will, but it will kill her before it does. And she won't let me take care of her, not while she can still think a little." 

Rex risked a glance to his Commander, hearing those vicious little snarls and sharp cries at being restrained, at being kept from her mate. The trilling sounds were words; he'd heard Master Ti use those sounds to calm fresh batches… but his eyes snapped back to his General when she started fondling a lek.

"She's just a kid!" Rex said, but the absolute denial of losing her was strong in his mind. "She's … it's not right, not right in any way!" His fear for her mixed with anger over whoever had done this to her.

[Mate… my mate…] Ahsoka called, reaching out for him again, needing to feel him against her. Strongest, smartest male, her clan… hers.

"She's not, not really, but I understand that, Rex," Anakin told him, taking a slow breath, watching Rex's face. "I called for you... because it's very, very obvious that it's _you_ she wants, in her mind. 

"Which isn't in the _least_ fair to you, or her, and if you can't, or won't, I'll -- it won't be very much longer before she'll stop trying to claw my eyes out." 

Rex swallowed hard, as two very different emotions warred in his heart. He felt a deep rejection and flat-out jealous reaction to the idea of Skywalker touching Ahsoka _that_ way, as well as worry that he might hurt her by staying.

"Sir, get out," he finally said, reaching up to release the upper pieces of his armor. "The Commander doesn't have much choice here, but she's made one. I'm not violating her trust by letting someone else, even you sir, take that from her," he said gruffly. "And I'd walk into a tinny ship barehanded before I will ever lose her," he added, knowing that was true. The kid… and space but that was undoing him as he looked again and could see that while she was young, she wasn't as much a kid any more as his brain kept trying to throw at him… was a victim. He wasn't going to add to that if he could help her.

...his Captain had just about snarled at him! Anakin stared at Rex for a moment, shocked at that, and worried for both his padawan and his Captain. "Rex, are -- never mind. You're sure." The flat determination in those dark eyes turned his way again was almost enough to back him up a step. "Take care of her, brother, where I can't." 

That level of jealousy, of hind-brain possessive rage... that was how he would feel at the idea of anyone laying hands on his wife that she didn't fully want. He had quickly become fine with her relationship with Sabé, but anyone else -- and that was how Rex felt about Ahsoka? 

_That_ he hadn't seen coming.

Rex had never gotten out of armor so fast in his life, but the way Ahsoka was twisting, reaching for him, making those noises that had her breathing faster than he'd ever heard from her… he needed to get to her, to help ease the pain of what she was suffering.

He didn't even wait to get the body suit off, knowing he needed to be touching her before that door had even sealed again behind his General. "'Soka… " he called to her as he moved to the cot.

[Mate. Mine.] She wasn't being held back now, and her mate… strong mate… was right there. She purred and moved up against him, shoving the ice-packs away from her skin. The cloth he was in was fine, but her own? She mewed unhappily as the fabric brushed against the underside of her lekku irritably, and she stopped in her intent of climbing his body to get out of it.

"I'm here," he told her, soft and reassuring, wanting to help her -- hating everything about this but her, needing to protect her as much as he could -- and that soft little mewing whine had him reaching to work on her top along with her. The poncho did look rough, irritating... "I'm right here, Ahsoka." 

This shouldn't be how this happened -- she shouldn't have to have a first time be because she was drugged, because they had to save her life in such a kriffing primitive way -- but he had to take care of her. "Wish I could understand you, though." 

Her mate's words… his words. She focused on that, made her own words shape to his. "Cyare," she managed, before finally getting the top off of her body. The one beneath it… that was not as irritating, made of material like his second-skin clothing. She could bear it longer, finishing her move to get into his lap. Only the fact the cot was secured for surgery kept her from overbalancing it and him alike as she pressed her hot skin against the slightly cooler touch of his body suit, teeth and tongue going after the band of skin just above the collar.

'Beloved', she said, and he shuddered as his arms wrapped around her, his head tipping back to give her his throat -- oh, _kriff_ her teeth were sharp, and her tongue was strong on his skin. 

He wasn't a stranger to sex, no brother was -- they learned it with each other in off hours, learning what the puberty-dreams of seven and eight years old could be good for -- but she felt like nothing ever had. Her weight was on him, all of her hot skin (too hot, she was never hot like this) against his body... "Cyar'ika," he answered her, petting down the line of her spine, below the lekku. 

"Mmm, tigaanur," she purred, pressing into his hands on her and writhing against his chest as her thighs settled on either side of his waist. She closed her eyes as both lek were firmly caught between their bodies, shuddering to have their pulsing need contained the best way possibly. She began rocking her body in a wave, sending sharp little shudders through her and enticing him to be ready for her.

"I've got you," he answered that demand to touch her -- she was thinking at least a little, if she could come up with Mando'a -- and that made this... a little more acceptable. "I've got you, cyar'ika," he repeated, his hand stroking on her back again. Her lekku were wriggling against his chest (strange, strangely delightful sensation) and the way she was _moving_ , kriff but that went straight to his cock. 

That was probably the idea, he admitted in the next moment, her sharp teeth still on his throat, his hips shifting up under hers. His Commander, his Ahsoka -- he loved her, he knew that, but he'd thought... Never mind what he'd thought. Right now, she needed him, and he wasn't going to let her down. Her sash was trapped between them, and that was probably going to upset her soon, and he had to consider, for a moment, if it would be better to give her as much of this as he could with her still dressed, so that she wasn't as exposed... 

Yes, probably. He shifted his weight, pulling her a little closer, as he dared slide his hand to her rear lekku and stroke gently. 

The touch on her central headtail had an amazing effect as she made the most throaty sound ever, grinding down on him but pushing her head into his hand there. Her eyes were little more than slits of pleasure, and the way her body moved was just short of pure sex itself. The scent in the air was thick with her arousal, as she brought her hands up to stroke the broad plains of his chest.

"Ner cyare," she told him, as her eyes opened to show just how much the color had deepened, like the blue of her lekku that pulsed with vibrancy now.

"Gar cyare," fell instantly from his lips and he knew it was true, no matter how stunned he was at -- well, all of this. He could practically taste her wetness, thought he could just about feel it through bodysuit and her skirt and sash, and he moaned softly, his cock very definitely getting interested in the woman grinding herself down into his lap. 

Almost as interested as his heart. She'd stopped biting him, at least, which meant he could get his mouth to hers and kiss her, careful of the tips of her teeth. 

She moaned hungrily into that kiss, her lips parting helpfully and her tongue tasting along his with interest. Fingernails tested the durability of his suit as she petted his chest, keeping the kiss a duel more than a cooperation. Her rhythm changed just slightly, intensifying, as she found just the right spot to rub against, stroking her body to fever pitch. 

Breathy little sounds were escaping the kiss from her, her skin so hot through the layers that separated them, under his hands on her. She suddenly shifted her hold on him to his shoulders, eyes blowing wide open as she hit a small peak, edging back the burning in her veins as she held on and rode it out.

She was beautiful. 

So beautiful, so strong, such an amazing warrior... 

Rex held on to her, his shoulders rolling back into her hard grip, and he kissed her cheek, her lips again, the incredible blue of her eyes threatening to drag him down like a Kaminoan undertow. She felt like she might be a touch less feverish, at least -- but she was also still moving. 

A final shudder took her through the last of that, and then she was moving to catch his lips with her own. The kiss wasn't as violent, and she seemed more aware of her teeth, but she made a slightly begging noise at him, pressing breasts and lekku against his chest again. When she pulled back from the kiss, it was with a full body press that demanded his full attention.

"Tigaanur," she repeated, eyes locking on his with a plea in them as she stressed that word.

He moved against her, with her, at that, his fingers stroking light on her central lekku and her back alike, pressing kisses along her jaw, making a quiet, soothing noise to her. He was touching her, but that plea... he had to do more, take care of her better. Get this kriffing poison out of her body and pray to everything he didn't believe in anyway that she forgave him for doing what she needed. 

She bared her throat to him so fully, head rolling back, silently encouraging more kisses there, even as she all but danced in his hold on her, letting his touches ease the demand for more. His hand touching her central head tail, the way his hard body grazed her lekku… all of it was important, helping her, but she was not out of danger yet. Every part of her body was on fire for him and him alone.

"Copaani," she breathed at him, aching with desire to be closer now, to have him make his claim as her mate.

"I know, cyar'ika," he told her, pressing kiss after kiss to her throat, hands stroking on her. He left his hand on her head tail where it was as he slid his other hand to the belts she wore, needing to get them unfastened and her lightsabers safely aside before he could do anything about giving her the touch she was telling him she wanted. 

"Cyare," she purred, shifting and moving to help him get her out of her clothing. For that, she could wait. For that, she brought her own hands down, helping unhook and unfasten the kama she wore, the catches on her leggings, and even twisted to get at the seal on her tunic. Problem solving, as it pertained to getting his touch where she wanted it, was still very active. When she was bare to him, it revealed that the white marks of her face were present along her body, small splashes that broke up the darker red of her lines. 

Bare, trusting him, eager for his touch… she drew herself down off his lap and waited for him to lay with her.

And there went one of his plans _right_ out the airlock. He'd only intended to get her tunic up over her hips (and when had those become quite _that_ curved, anyway?!) and see how much he was going to have to peel her leggings down -- and now she was almost completely stripped and stretched out on the cot, looking up at him with those giant, trusting (starving) blue eyes. (She looked like a kriffing pinup, except less exaggerated and more... real, still herself, his Commander, his _Jetii_.) 

But she wasn't trying to get into his suit, so... at least there was that. He stretched out along her side, pressing close to her, braced up on his left elbow so that he could touch her. Trace the markings on her face, the chevrons on her lekku, the line of her jaw, the markings splashed on her throat... 

"Gar serim," she purred at him, encouraging his touch, especially his explorations of her lekku. They ached, heavy with life, wanting to be petted properly. She moved her free hand… one arm under his neck to play over his shoulder… down the lek farther from him, showing him how she wanted him to touch. She shivered a little at the way it made the fires burn higher, but her mate was there, he would slake her thirst soon.

"Elek?" he asked her, watching her hand move on her lek, and shifting his touch to mirror her strokes. Not so light, it seemed, was how she wanted this, and that... he could do that. He wrapped his hand carefully around the right lek and slid it down, feeling the heat and the soft texture of the skin, the heavy muscle under it. 

"Elek!" she told him, bucking a little for the surge of pleasure rolling through her with that caress. Both lekku were twitching to the touch, and she could feel every nerve ending in them alight with joy. Her eyes half closed, and she let herself move with the need low in her groin, small whimper at being met with no resistance. It made her shift, trying to get his body more on hers, wanting that solid wall of strong muscle to push against.

She was tugging at him, trying to get him closer, noise shifting from pleasure to unhappy whimper as she moved. Why -- oh. Nothing to rub against, no pressure against her... her sex. He shifted, changing how he was braced so that he could slide one thigh between her legs, give her that -- and had to choke back a noise at the feel of her hip against his cock. Not the point, so kriffing not the point, the point was his Commander, and he turned his focus back to what his hand was doing. 

Not really like jerking a brother off, but not so terribly different in the way hand and wrist shifted, either. 

With that pressure for her to move against, the noises were definitely happier, though growing rather loud. Ahsoka's voice was in the higher pitches as she rocked into his thigh, eyes closing fully as he satisfied the burning in his way. It was not mating, not yet, but her body was accepting it as almost enough. 

"Ner cyare," she panted softly as her lek under his hand began to spasm for his caresses. "Elek… elek…" 

She sounded _incredible_ , and Rex wondered for a moment if he was ever going to get to hear those sounds when she wasn't drugged out of her mind, or if she would be quieter when it was really her own choice. He let his hips move with hers (as though he'd had a chance in all the hells of doing anything else) as her lek spasmed, tightening like she was about to come, and he dropped his mouth to kiss and lick just above the highest point his hand could go. 

That drug a sharp cry out of her, and her entire body knotted and released with blinding pleasure, her hands scrabbling to hold onto him as he put her so far over the edge. His body suit was soaked where she had ridden his thigh, while her lek seemed to be cooling rapidly in his grip. She fell back on the cot, short shuddering breaths wracking her still as she shivered in the aftermath of what he'd done for her.

Please, please let that have been enough, let her body be able to fight the drugs now... he carefully released his grip on her lek, shifting his mouth away, even as he sprawled more fully on to her to keep her close and secure, keep her warm if she needed that. His cock ached, that he could feel her wetness even through the body suit was _not_ helping with that, but he could and would kriffing control himself. 

Slowly, slowly Ahsoka felt her body giving her room to think, even as there was this ache that refused to go away. The sound of racing hearts… one was her own… and the feel of a strong, vibrant body //Rex...// helped anchor her, even as the drugs tried to reassert themselves.

They were going to win, as she couldn't find the Force to push herself to heal… but for a moment or more, she could feel and see Rex, know him as more than just her instincts did.

"Rex?" she whispered, holding onto him, not wanting him to escape her.

"I'm right here, Ahsoka, I'm right here, I've got you, you're safe," he answered, instant, lifting his head to look into her eyes, so, so grateful to hear her sound a little more sane, her eyes more aware than starving. 

She bit her lip, knowing this could not have been his choice, feeling that need to move against him growing, and she knew she still needed him.

Why had the Force had let this happen?! She felt a surge of anger, to have abused him, but she had to ask more.

"Need you," she whispered, reaching for his hand. "Can't… it's building… please… I'm sorry…" Dimly, she knew from her body's hum that he'd been taking care of that fire in her groin, but it wasn't quite gone, was getting worse again.

"You have me," Rex answered, instant, shaking his head as _she_ started to apologize, dipping his head down to kiss the words out of her mouth, to quiet her. He lifted his mouth again after a moment, knowing he needed to talk to her while she had this clarity. " _I'm_ sorry, ner cyare. But I'll take care of you, I promise. 

"Whatever you need." 

"Ner cyare, ner cyar'ika," she murmured. "Was always meant to be you, just not like this," she told him softly, drawing his hand to her lips to kiss his fingers, one by one, between the words. 

What? 

Yes, the General had said she wanted him, but -- but _that_? "I -- oh, Ahsoka. 

"I -- tell me how far this can go, cyar'ika, while _you_ still can?" 

She felt tears threaten at the way he said that, at her sense of him, and she pressed close to him again. "I can't beat the drug… I feel it burning inside again. I trust you… I want you, and that is _me_ , not it!" Her words were fierce, but she whimpered a little as she had to flex her hips against his thigh to ease the sensations burning there. "Take it as far as we have to, Rex… to make this go away, so we have a later to learn each other in!"

He held her, his arm wrapped around her, pressing a quiet kiss to one montral as _her_ consent changed everything, settled warm and reassuring over him, then nodded. She... that she wanted him, that even after this she wanted there to be a later for them, wanted him to -- 

\-- "Yes, ma'am," he told her, smiling at her and deliberately choosing 'ma'am' and not 'sir' to keep the response away from Commander and Captain, though he absolutely would follow that order. "I've got you." 

That flex up against his thigh, heat against the cold of her pleasure -- kriff, but that was incredible -- and her shifting had his hips shoving against her before he could yank himself back under control. 

She smiled then, her smile, not the one that was all predator and instinct, before her breathing hitched at the way he felt against her, that hard pressure that was his sex, rigid and ready. "Cyare, elek!" she told him, following his attempt to get away with her body, accepting him, wanting him… and she blushed a little at how violently her blood was surging again through her. "Take pleasure with me, cyar'ika… please."

He shuddered at her words, her body following his, pressing to him as her lekku went... vibrant, again, and he kissed her hard and intent. "I will," he promised her, his cock throbbing, but he was not going to lose control of his body just yet. 

Not when there was an entire lekku he hadn't so much as touched flicking demands for his attention at him. This time he _started_ with his mouth. Her back arched beneath him, and she gave back over to the feelings, not even trying to fight now that he knew she wanted _him_. The way his mouth and body felt ignited the fires fully, and she was almost dancing beneath him, drawing him to take care of her fully.

"Cyare," she breathed, trusting in his control of the situation.

"I've got you," he told her against the lek under his mouth, licking gently, sliding his tongue down it to suck -- curious and light -- at the tip, feeling her relaxing under him with a shudder that ran all the way down his back. She knew he had her, said this was what she wanted... that made everything all right. 

She could not help the sound that escaped her at the sensation of him putting his mouth _around_ her lek and she ran her hands down his shoulders in appreciation of all the muscle there, getting one ankle wrapped around the back of his knee to give her more leverage. With those holds on him, she could earnestly work to please his body, even as she met her own needs.

He pressed back into the strength of her hands, that hook of her ankle around his knee just as strong, and then she moved under him and made him moan around her lek, licking again, sucking. 

Somehow, when he was paying attention again a bit later, he had plastered himself fully to her body, his weight was across her hips and his instead of on his side, and the scorching heat of her sex was full against his cock, soaking through the body suit and making him mewl. 

"Elek," she encouraged, rocking in time to his rhythm, holding tight to him, mouth going to his throat, the underside of his jaw, flicking her tongue at his pulse. "Elek," she purred, half-lost in the heady pleasure of his weight, his strength all against her. The fires were consuming her, but it was good, having him be the one to stoke her desires ever higher.

"Cyar'ika," he whispered against her skin, licking one broad white chevron, her purring 'yes, yes' driving him as crazy as her body under his was. He wanted nothing more than to just get the body suit open enough to take her -- but he wasn't certain if Togruta and human could crossbreed, his belt was too far away, and kriff it, he'd see if his hand would do for her. 

He twisted his weight, bracing on his right arm and sliding his left hand down her hip and between their bodies. Dear sweet _stars_ , she was so wet! Wet, hot, so slick... 

She _keened_ as he slipped his fingers along her sex, rocking harder into his touch. "Gedet'ye!" she managed to say, wanting more, needing more, so close to actually breaking for him that she was almost in pain.

"I've got you," he told her, using the way she moved to push a finger into her, afraid he would hurt her despite her want -- she was so slender, even though her hips and breasts were _all_ curves and had been for years, she had to be built small -- 

\-- and his finger slid in smoothly, her body hot and slick and welcoming, clenching around the intrusion in such a way that Ahsoka was crying out again, seeking more of that. She grazed her teeth along his throat, right at the line of his body suit, in between her mewling cries for more.

Okay. Okay. She was fine, she wanted this -- no, she more than wanted this, she needed him to do this, and he rocked his hand, getting that finger as deep as he could once, twice. Then he rolled his wrist back, pushed his index and middle fingers tight together, and gave her that instead. 

Ahsoka's body was tight around him, her hands flexing to where the body suit was perilously close to being cut from her nails on it. She rocked her hips to meet him, the feeling of having his fingers inside her tipping a whole new point of pleasure that made her body sing. Her hip and thigh were pressing against him intimately, giving him the friction his cock wanted, and her noises… they were pulling at him to just go with her toward this peak.

He sucked a breath, set his hand to moving with her, deep as he could get his fingers, buried his forehead against her shoulder, and actually, finally, let his instincts have their way. Time fuzzed, hazed around the edges, and then her body clutched at his hand and bowed under his weight and he shot off in the same breath, his hips slamming against her body. 

Her voice was sharp with that release, crying out loudly, ending on an exhaled 'rex' that was tiny and barely there, before she slipped into true unconsciousness, her body burned out by the poisonous drug and his loving.

Yet when he tried to move from her, it was much like trying to move after a mission, after she had fallen asleep on or near him, her hands and leg clinging to hold on to him despite her breathing being back to a steady pattern.

He made soft, soothing noises at her, slowly getting his fingers back from the clutch of her body, gently managing to coax her into letting him put his body between her and the world, tucking her against his chest. It wouldn't be anyone but Kix or the General, but even still... he didn't have the Force to drag her poncho up over her, so he just had to hide her. 

No matter how much having his back to the door made his shoulder blades crawl for a moment. 

At least there were always a few hundred extra bodysuits in medical, because this one was _trashed_. 

++++

Kix wasn't running a timer in his head. He really wasn't counting down the time to likely toxin shutdown, or the potential time to actual 'cure', if …

No, he wasn't thinking about what his Captain had been trapped into. For their Commander, any Vod would have, but it didn't make it easier, knowing there really hadn't been a chance to choose.

The timer wasn't ticking down to that crucial point where his fingers itched to flip the scanner on no matter whose privacy he was violating. Not really.

"That's a very loud clock in your head, Kix," Anakin told him from where he'd paced the length of medical. He was doing his best not to listen -- he didn't _want_ to hear, and he could feel that his padawan was still alive. That was enough, it was. No matter how frantic he was. "She's still with us." 

"Sorry, sir. Not much time between 'time for it to be beaten' and 'time of can't save her'," Kix said bluntly. "And I'm trying to figure out how to handle the trauma both of them will have, after this. Same cause, different expressions, based on my profile of each."

Anakin flinched, his durasteel hand tightening hard enough to creak, and came back to join his medic. "...I know. I'm worried about both of them too, Kix. 

"Very worried. Tell me if I'm wrong, but we're either going to have to figure out how to separate them, or make certain _nothing_ does, for a while, _'lek_?" 

Kix considered, then gave a sharp nod of his head. "If we're lucky, they're both stubborn enough to want what they already have, which means not letting anything separate them for a while. If the Captain has a particularly strong cultural reaction, the Vod'e need to be firmly reminded to back off until they settle. If _she_ proves to be very Togruta about this, people will need to not try and take the Captain's attention from her until she settles, at least from my reading.

"But if we're running on our usual luck, they're going to be hissing, spitting, don't talk to me sorts about this at everyone."

"Yeah, well, too kriffing bad for them," Anakin replied, flicking the door a fixed glare. They were _not_ going to disappear inside shells, not until he knew they were okay. Bad enough when Obi-Wan did it; no blessed way was he letting his Captain and his padawan get away with it. 

He didn't bother saying that there still was the possibility of them coming out of this too messed up to deal with each other. Kix knew it, he knew it, and if that happened... they'd find a way out of the disaster. Somehow (And anyone tied to that piece of slimy slaving cowardly filth was going to find the 501st on their six with a vengeance). 

The timer Kix wasn't paying attention to passed the critical mark of toxin burnout… and no alarms from inside the bay were screaming of a patient dying on him. That was something to point out to his General, a point of hope, as it were.

Before Kix could even speak, Anakin felt a pressure behind his shields disappear, like a bubble popping, and the tension in his training bond to Ahsoka lapsed into the quiet, barely there of a sleeping Force presence.

"Oh, thank the _Force_ , she's asleep," he breathed, feeling his knees wanting to give out. He stayed on his feet, refusing to lean on the nearest of the counters, and set up a counter of his own in the back of his mind. He'd wait a minute, then reach for Rex -- his Captain might not be able to speak back to him, but the sense of Rex's mind would tell him quite a bit. 

"But it came pretty damned close, didn't it?" 

"Yes, sir, it did," Kix told him, breathing out steadily. He wondered how best he could help his patients now… clothing, blankets, decontam? "Let me get a portable decon unit and privacy shields on the space outside that bay," he muttered, moving to do just that. They weren't going to be subjected to having more than who already knew finding out, space take it! Not on his watch! He was already going to have a tough time getting Fives to let go of guilt because it had happened on his watch.

"Good plan," Anakin agreed, raking a hand through his hair as he looked worriedly at the bay. Once Kix had things set up, and his time had elapsed, he reached in with his mind, seeing the familiar bright determination that was his Captain. 

...also, apparently, asleep, or at least, drowsing. Drowsing and radiating protectiveness even in his near-sleep. "Well. He's not falling apart. I wouldn't try that door for the galaxy's spice supply right now, but... I'll take it." 

"So will I," Kix said dryly, shaking his head at that gift of the General's. "Gives me time to find clothing for her. Apt to be very sensitive about things she touches," he added, by way of warning. "Will either need to be loose and very soft, or skin-fitted, and able to pull on under the lekku, not over her head." He had been thorough in his research, even if some of the material had left him highly uncomfortable to read.

"Then she may have to cope with one of my tunics," Anakin answered. They, at least, would come up around her shoulders, and be more than long enough to cover her, "since there's not a lot of other clothing on this ship that fits those criteria." 

"Then, sir, can I have a tunic for the Commander?" Kix outright asked, so he could have that piece lined up. Body suits were all through medical, issued from there to every trooper released back to duty, since they usually had to be cut out of the ones they came in with.

"Of course. Be right back with it -- as soon as I haul Fives and Echo out of the firing range and tell them she's going to be all right. She's going to sleep for a while, from the feel of her." 

+++

His men calmed -- as much as they could be, at least, given the situation -- and an inner tunic delivered to Kix for Ahsoka, Anakin went back to his quarters again and routed another comm to Master Ti. 

Shaak Ti was in her own chambers now; a long bout of 'training' against the newest batch readying to go to the field had exercised her energy levels, letting her seek meditation. Now, with the incoming call, she opened her eyes and had it display via the room's comm station. 

"Skywalker." She did not brace for his news; such would undo her efforts to release the tension. Instead, she waited for him to give her facts.

"She's asleep, with it finally out of her system," Anakin told her, hand raking through his hair again. "And I'm putting in a requisition straight to Master Che for the biochem you mentioned, since we didn't have so much as something we could synthesize it out of. Willing to counter-sign it for me?" 

"Yes, I will. Just in case." She was unwilling to risk this having been an isolated incident; Skywalker worked in rough parts of the galaxy in his war efforts, and a padawan went where their master did. "I am pleased she is resting." She was also surprised at Skywalker reporting so soon, but did not say so. Little Soka was still young, after all, barely an adult, and the Knight should have the ability to recover swiftly from such difficulties. Only… she didn't actually think he had been the one to apply treatment, not by her intuition. "Do you believe she will need anything further to move past this incident?"

Anakin hissed out a sigh, bracing on the table his comm unit rested on. "...I'm not going to know until she wakes up again -- which, frankly, I hope isn't for longer than she normally sleeps at a go. If what she needs is a woman, or one of her own people...?" 

"Have her come to Kamino. I will be here." Shaak Ti inclined her head to the young Knight. "I take it she still sleeps like a huntress then." There was a faint smile on her lips. "Her youngling clan was forever disrupted by that pattern." It might help Skywalker, if he could be reminded of better times for his padawan. "I am certain she will overcome this challenge, as she has all others to date."

"I know she will," Anakin agreed, his mouth quirking for a moment at that 'sleeps like a huntress'. Of course she did, she was his Snips. "Thank you, Master Ti. 

"I'm going to hope, for her sake, that she doesn't have to come to you, but..." he shrugged slightly. He'd wanted to have it arranged -- and to get her help dealing with the incredibly stubborn Master Healer -- before Ahsoka woke. 

He half wanted to discuss Snips' hissing, clawing rejection of him in favor of Rex -- then again, Shaak Ti had been one of the ones that pushed for him to go through Trials past simply surviving Dooku before he was Knighted, which made her not entirely one of his favorite people. "Force be with you." 

"And with you," she answered, letting the comm fall silent. After a long moment, she dropped Plo Koon an encrypted message, text only, suggesting he come see her when duty permitted. Yes, Plo should be aware that his Togruta foundling had been through a rough experience.

++++

Rex opened his eyes slowly, breathing the sex-heavy air with a slight shudder... and then he realized Ahsoka was still asleep against his chest. He took a few seconds to check his internal chronometer. Knew from that he'd been out at least two hours, and she was still asleep? 

That never happened. He stretched, popping his shoulders in half a dozen places, and winced at the fact that his skin was pretty much glued to the inside of his body suit in incredibly unpleasant ways. That was going to be such fun to deal with, once he didn't have his Commander asleep on his arm and against his body. 

"mmm, hot," was the first thing he heard from her before she started putting a little space between them… just not enough to lose complete contact. Her own body started stretching, and that had her brushing against him in ways that had once just been innocent contact and now… now there was history that might keep it from being normal ever again.

He made a quietly amused noise at her ever-present protest, and shifted his arm from draped over her to just his fingers on her hip, firmly putting all reactions to her moving against him aside. At least until he knew how and what she felt now. 

Having stretched, and discovered she was vaguely sore in most of her body, Ahsoka slowly rolled over to actually face Rex, hopeful because he'd stayed with her… but was that just duty? No, Rex wouldn't do that to her.

Her eyes went up to his face -- noting certain marks along his throat that vaguely looked like bites -- and tried to read what he was thinking without tapping the Force. She tried not to be rude like that with him too much.

"Hi?"

"Hi," he answered her, hearing his voice shaking a little with relief as she spoke so soft. Her eyes looked ancient, aware of too much... but he thought that was hope in her face, too. "Ahsoka, I -- what do I need to do to have us still be okay?" 

That… that was her Rex. That was the man she had decided was perfect for her somewhere in her first year with the unit. The one she had decided to wait for, because she needed to grow up more. The one she wanted to be with when everything was said and done.

"Let me be grateful it was you… and then help us just be who we are to each other, until it's really right?" she asked him softly. "Let me be sorry at you for you getting caught up in whatever that was?" She tangled her hand in his as she took a deep breath. "And tell me where my boundaries are. Because I can't lose your friendship over stupid biology."

"You've got _nothing_ to be sorry for, Ahsoka! **Nothing** ," he heard himself growling at her and made his jaw shut, made himself breathe and squeeze her fingers. He'd asked her what to do, and here he was refusing to do it. Not okay, trooper, so incredibly not acceptable. He was kriffing _going_ to give her what she needed. "But you're forgiven, so much more than, anyway." 

Ahsoka blinked, then moved a little closer, leaning her head against his chest, letting the buzz of his voice settle to silence in her montrals before she tried to answer that. "I know you weren't here at first. That's why I'm apologizing. My head was so twisted up around a future that I was hoping for that they had to get you." She sighed softly at him, at this whole mess. "A future that I was more than willing to wait for, thank you, because I know I'm just a kid to you!" 

A hint of her anger came through in that protest, at everything that done this to them.

Rex hummed to her, soft and low, hand spreading carefully across her lower back, listening to all of her words a second time. "...no," he agreed, "I wasn't here at first, and yes, the General had to call me. But there's nowhere in the galaxy I would have wanted to be except where you needed me, cyar'ika..." 

He'd like to be able to deny that he had still seen her as a kid -- but he'd slammed face-first into that about three hours ago, and he didn't lie to his Commander, his General, or his brothers. "You're not just a kid anymore," he compromised on that, "even if I was being a little utreekov about noticing that." 

She giggled a little at that, but it felt good to just cuddle in against his chest. She looked up at him again, eyes wide. "Cyare?" she pressed, to see if she was permitted to call him the endearment. She honestly wasn't certain what she had expected, but the idea of actually having his heart… it made hers race with hope.

"Gar cyare, ner cyare, Ahsoka," Rex answered her, hating the sight of the fear in her lekku behind the hope in her eyes. "If you'll have me yet." 

"Elek elek elek!" she told him, her body (and lekku) lighting up with the positive words, before she gave him a playful bite along his shoulder. "IF! Seriously, Rex, have you not seen me when I make up my mind?"

She'd just bitten his body suit, he realized as he cast her a look... but then there were the rest of her words, and he shuddered in relief even as he started to laugh, holding her in tight against his chest, his entire body loosening. She was okay, her spirit wasn't broken, and everything else -- everything else would sort itself out. 

She nuzzled at his shoulder then, wrapping herself into his hold, claiming him in her own way all over again. She was angry at how everything had happened, but he'd protected her from it. He'd saved her. And he was okay with her loving him.

That was the best part of it all.

"Think we can sneak out of here and into a shower? I feel like … well, gross. And you have to be pretty bad off, since you're still clothed." She was ready to put this behind her, ready to go back to normal… as long as he could.

"I don't think Kix is going to be letting you sneak anywhere, Commander, given the look on his face when I got here," Rex told her honestly, "but kriff, a shower sounds incredible." 

She got that rebellious, 'I will do what it takes' look on her face, but she smiled at him. "Okay. Let's see what happens when I try to leave then." She looked at the discarded clothes, ruled them out, even at the cost of not being able to belt her sabers on, and grabbed for a sheet from the supply cabinet instead as she came to her feet.

She did not hiss, but it was a near thing. Kriff, but she felt like she'd ran an entire campaign with no breaks!

"Ahsoka?" he asked, instantly reaching out to steady her, worried, before he decided that it was actually Kix he needed to protect. "And don't give Kix too much trouble, he was terrified of you dying on us. So was the General." 

She leaned into his hold on her, stabilizing and reaching for the Force… no, she could do that after, when she was clean. "I get it. I'm not happy about it, but I get it… and I'm okay. Just apparently found a lot of muscles I don't exercise much." She gathered the sheet around her shoulders, actually covering her lekku along with the rest of her body. The clothes were shoved into a pile on the poncho, via Force, and then pushed ahead of her to the door.

"Come on, Old Boy, we've got to get clean and back to duty, before someone, probably my Master, does something Wrong."

Rex made a quietly worried noise, not okay with that she had apparently just... not reacted to the idea of her own death -- a death like that -- but he could understand her wanting to get clean. He did, too. 

Ahsoka didn't want to think about it. She wanted to be away from Rex before she had her breakdown. Getting clean and dressed would help. Food would too. 

She didn't want to be weak, and this had made her helpless. 

Rex picked up his right vambrace and clicked it back onto his wrist, hoping he wouldn't have to use it to get the two of them out of here. The rest of his armor he gathered up into the chestplates, packing it along to the door. 

Ahsoka reached out with the Force, concentrating, mostly because she could, and attempted to open the doors from outside the bay they were in. She frowned, realizing Kix had coded them shut, and sighed.

//Master? I want out,// she sent to Anakin, pretty sure he was somewhere near.

His Padawan felt... tired, jaw-grittedly determined, and... too old, in ways that had his lips skinning back from his teeth for a moment. But she was talking to him, and that was much more important than how he felt about things. //Ahsoka! Thank the _Force_ , you're awake. 

//All right, my padawan, I'll tell Kix to get the doors for you. He's got decon-tubes and clothes for you. Well, body suit for Rex, but you know what I meant.// "Kix," he said aloud, "they're up. Unlock the doors for them."

"Yes sir." Kix manually keyed the code in from his desk, releasing the locks on that bay.

//Oh he is my second favorite trooper right now,// Ahsoka sent back before stepping through the door as soon as it was big enough for her. She went straight for one of the tubes, eager to be clean and not smell like sex.

She just wasn't going to think about the fact that she was so angry to have her first time with Rex be under duress for them both.

Anakin chuckled for a moment at the emphatic eagerness and let the connection fade. She'd said 'second favorite', which meant that Rex was still her favorite. So the two of them would be okay, past whatever fallout there was from the way they'd both been hurt. 

Rex waited until he didn't have to duck, saw that the area was curtained off and there was another tube, and projected, " _Ori'vor'e!_ " at his medic brother, hauling off the top of his bodysuit then managing the rest of it with a few much-lower muttered oaths. 

Kix made an absent wave in the direction of the decons even though it couldn't be seen. He wanted to make sure both patient and rescuer were fine, though, so he was waiting for them to emerge before he even thought about leaving.

For the weapon range, he promised himself, because he needed to let off steam badly.

Ahsoka took her time, making certain every single part of her skin was clean. She found herself hoping for a planet-side mission soon, somewhere with a bath or shower, because what she wanted was water-clean, but on ship, the tubes made the most sense. She closed her eyes briefly, fighting off a wave of strong emotions concerning everything, and forced herself to finish getting clean.

Finding her Master's tunic waiting for her made her half-smile; at least she could get it wrapped around her without bothering her lekku too much, given they felt … sensitive. More than usual. Which annoyed her. She settled for just the tunic and her belt (with lightsabers), wrapping everything up in the poncho afterward.

She wondered if it was being ridiculously primitive to want to burn every article of clothing she'd been wearing when she got drugged, save the kama. 

Rex was out, in a clean body suit, and resettling his armor into place when he heard Ahsoka moving behind him. He promptly locked his heels to the floor until he heard the rustlings of the poncho. "All right for me to turn around -- " 'cyar'ika' vied with 'commander' on the tip of his tongue, and he went with neither. 

Anakin paced the outer edge of medical, waiting for his padawan to be ready to come out. 

"Yes, Rex," she said, cringing a little at him having that reaction. In the past, she never would have thought twice about changing clothes anywhere near him, if it was necessary. Now, because of what had happened, it was always going to be weird, or at least it would be until… until she was a full damned adult in his eyes and able to be at ease with him, and he with her.

She did dart her eyes over to him, and seeing him in armor helped settle her nerves more than she expected. Then again, the body suit had long since been a part of her own reactions to Rex on a very primitive level. It left _nothing_ really to her imagination, and yet it left everything unseen.

"Let's go see if Kix has any objections to me going back on duty," she said with forced cheer and a sharp smile that was anything but happy.

He could see the unhappy/hesitant tension in her lekku, her eyes, as soon as he'd turned, and he moved back to her in a fast hurry, dropping one foot back to half-crouch and put their eyes level. "It's not -- I don't know what you need, Ahsoka. So I... want to be sure things are -- your call? And I can bet he will, but we'll see." 

She worried at her lower lip between her teeth. "That's just it, Rex… what happened today? It messed up how you see me, how we work. Because it wasn't supposed to be this way at all." She took a deep breath. "Maybe… maybe after I meditate, I'll feel better. Or be able to cope with the way things are with you and me."

She did reach out to touch his face, one hand along his cheek.

He dipped his head down against her hand, relaxing a little more. "We'll work just fine, 'Soka, as soon as I can stop worrying about taking things from you that you didn't mean me to... have yet." That ran the gamut of it, from something as simple as a too-revealing sight of her to the feeling of her sex around his fingers. 

Ahsoka shuddered, breathing out raggedly before she just pushed into his space, wrapping her arms around him, feeling the comforting plastoid against her skin. She closed her eyes, just holding on to try and center again, before she could answer that.

"You have me. Period. What we do from here… is a matter of both of us finding the right place to meet in our comfort levels. And if you choose not to have me at all… I will understand." She had not meant to let him know her feelings until he could be comfortable with her as an adult, so they could negotiate it then. Now, everything was jumbled and wrong and she felt like there was far too much pressure on him.

He made a soft, exasperated noise against one montral, wrapping her in his arms, holding her comfortably. "Do you think me so faithless as that, _ner cyare_? 

"I love you, you ridiculous, reckless woman, even if that snuck up on me!" 

She looked up at him, her own face more serious than she was normally given to being. "I don't want you to feel trapped, Rex. By my expectations, by what happened between us, any of it!" She then bit her lip as she realized this was probably not the best time or place to discuss it. "Let's see Kix."

"Yeah," he answered her last, picking himself up and slowly letting her out of his arms, little as he wanted to. 

Ahsoka pulled herself completely together, made certain her shields were tight, and came out to where she could see Anakin and Kix both. "Hey Skyguy. Heya Kix. Ready to let me out of your hair?" she asked with a grin for him. It was easy to just be the reckless kid they normally expected out of her, so she could get some real privacy.

"Not without a promise to eat and stay off duty for a full day cycle," Kix answered evenly, as he filed away that she was going to be _haran_ to actually get to tackle the psych part of what had happened.

"Hey, Snips," Anakin answered, after the medic had had his say, and he studied his padawan intently. In one of his undertunics, folded closed and belted around her, she looked almost like a youngling. If a youngling had ever worn kama and dual lightsabers and that hard a look in her eyes and jaw. That made the last half-a-day even harder to cope with, despite knowing she was far from a youngling in any way at all!

Now the question was if she was going to assent to Kix's request or if he was going to have to pull rank on her. 

Ahsoka started to buck the order; she didn't need a full day cycle to mope and brood over this. Sleeping was not going to happen easily… but maybe she could persuade her Master to actually teach her something. Or spar. Or she could meditate like she really needed to.

"Alright."

Kix blinked, then narrowed his eyes at her. "I will be available, if you wish to speak privately later, Commander," he said, just to test the waters. At her dismissive shrug, he promised himself he would look into more psych courses very soon.

Rex did not sigh at the shrug, though he was giving her back a very startled look that she'd agreed without a fight. She didn't do well with not _doing_ something, he knew that... but Kix was right, she needed the down-time. 

"Right," Anakin said, once she'd agreed, relaxing a little even as it made him worry, "so food's your next stop, right, Snips? I'll be down in our training room if you want to come find me after that. If not, just bounce me a comm." 

"Okay Skyguy," she told him, smiling over at him. She then shifted her weight and turned a little to wait on Kix's pronouncement for Rex returning to duty or not… she didn't even know which way she wanted that to go.

"Captain, it might be advisable for you to take an extra rest shift." Kix looked at his brother in such a way as to imply the offer of talking was open to him too, without saying it.

"Don't fall over, brother, but I think I'm going to take your advice," Rex agreed. He wanted to stay with Ahsoka, to know she was going to take care of herself, to be where he might be most needed... but he didn't want to impose his presence on her, either. "Mind company for that meal, Commander?" 

She gave him a small smile. "Sure, Old Boy," she said, using the nickname so maybe the other two would believe everything was fine. "C'mon; I want to drop this stuff off before we find the mess." She led the way out, head held high, no matter if any of their troops looked her way in the corridors.

"You know she's at risk for traumatic syndrome, right, sir?" Kix said very low to Anakin before the General could leave, but after Ahsoka was out of there.

"Too kriffing well," Anakin agreed, having stayed put mostly to hear Kix confirm what he was thinking. "She may be able to take the worst of it and give it over to the Force, but... that's never been as effective for me as it is some other Jedi. And she's a lot like me." 

"We've noticed, sir," Kix told him dryly. "If I may… once we see how she's really doing, do you think she could do one of her detachments to one of the female Jedi? Just to see if she's willing to talk it through to one of her own gender? I may be wrong, and she might speak frankly with you, but… females are odd."

"You may, and I've already set up plans for her to go to Kamino and Master Ti," Anakin answered him with a slow, half-amused look that had nothing in common with a smile, "if it turns out that she needs to talk to another woman or another Togruta or both. 

"Because you're so _very_ right. Females are odd." He loved his wife and his padawan both, but kriff they could be strange. 

++++

"Going down to the General?" Rex asked as he racked their trays and picked them up, watching his Commander -- because right now she definitely was the Commander, if one that was off-duty -- as she stood up from the bench. 

She looked at him with deep consideration, trying to judge which way he wanted her to decide… and she made herself stop that. She had to make her choices, leave him to make his, and just bull through this. 

"I should."

He nodded, torn between relief that she was going to do something so much like herself, and an oddly powerful moment of unhappiness that he wasn't going to get to keep being in her presence. "You always know how to find me -- if you want company later. 

"Since Kix was, well, Kix." 

She gave a half-smile for that, then nodded. Part of her wanted to ask him to come to her quarters later, but that would be adding one more log on the pile of 'asking too much' of him in her own head. If she couldn't sleep or meditate later, she would probably go find him. After all, she knew it would be ten times worse on him if she chose one of the other brothers to be her pillow -- 

\-- and the thought of being near any of her boys had the back of her brain twisting on itself. Fives and Echo had been down there, would know. She swallowed hard, and realized it wasn't just Rex that she was going to have a hard time with.

"I'll see you, Rex," she said, making herself walk out of there right then, to go to her own quarters instead of to her Master. She needed to get this out of her system, needed to turn it into the Force as much as she could, or how in all of space was she actually going to _lead_ her men!?

He dropped off trays and dishes, hating not being with her, not knowing how to help her except give her whatever space she wanted or needed, and went to run through a few DC-17 cartridges. One of the privileges of command was access to the advanced training programs, after all. 

//Master, I don't think I want to join you,// Ahsoka sent softly through the bond. //I think I need to be alone.// There was a lot of uncertainty in her words and the feeling of her mind.

//...If that's what you need, okay, Snips,// Anakin answered, trying to be as calmly stable as he had ever managed. //You can change your mind in five minutes or nine hours, I don't care. I'm here for you, my padawan.// 

//Thank you, Master.// She pulled away from the bond and went to try and meditate her way out of a breakdown.

++++

Ahsoka finally decided that meditation was not actually happening the way it needed to, and got up to dress in her own clothes. She hesitated to put on a new tunic, knowing how snug it fit, but then decided that she had to do exactly what she normally did. She then folded her Master's tunic carefully and went to give it back to him, if he was in his quarters now.

She scratched at the door lightly, waiting to see if he answered.

Anakin opened the door at the scratch, his eyes finding his padawan's instantly, not certain if he was relieved or uneasy that she had given up on her meditation so soon. She looked better in her own clothes than she had in his. More like herself, less like a child playing dress-up (or the victim she'd been made into for those hours). "Hey, Snips. Do you want to come in, or go spar?" 

She blinked at him, then held out his tunic to him. "I don't think I want to spar. I'm a little sore." She winced as she admitted that, then took a breath and made herself square her shoulders. "I never felt the intent, Skyguy. I was too focused… tuning out the sleemo crowd," she admitted as she moved to perch on his couch, to try and talk it out. "I'm sorry."

He took the tunic, went and put it up, and the followed her to the other end of the couch. That wince on 'a little sore'... he tried to push the anger away -- she didn't need him to be angry. She -- 

\-- kriff, he didn't know what she needed, but dealing with her Master's emotional mess certainly wasn't it. "As much ill-intent as there was in that 'sleemo crowd'? How could you?

"There's nothing for you to apologize for." 

"I cost us our mission," she said, focusing on that. "Because I didn't pay enough attention." She tucked her feet up under her, staying in a small space on the couch. "I resent that. I resent that I got lost in those instincts. I resent that the Vod'e had to see that. I resent… I resent that Rex got dragged into it, that I might have hurt him." 

Anakin shook his head, reaching out for a moment before he drew his hand back again. "Of course you resent it," he agreed. He remembered the looks in women's eyes after a dose of that, and it... she'd never had the threat looming over her before. "The Vod'e didn't see much, Snips. Fives saw you tuck up against me when I got to you and had everyone else in an eyes-out shield wall half a second later. And it only took me another couple of seconds to get you unconscious.

"But it's Rex that's bothering you most." He approved of that, entirely. That she would worry so much for him... it was a good thing, in his book. And at least he could -- hopefully -- soothe her down a little on that. 

She hung her head down, then nodded and looked at him miserably. "Skyguy, I love him," she said softly. "And I have known that a while. But I knew I was 'kid' in his eyes. And maybe that was all I'd ever be… so, I was just… not going to say anything. Didn't want it to be weird, and his friendship matters a whole lot more than anything else." She didn't hesitate to admit her emotions; Skyguy might remind her about attachments, but he'd only do it as the obligatory 'you know what the Council thinks' speech.

He smiled at her, quiet and proud, and brushed the edge of that pride across the bond to her, sure she needed to feel it. "I know, Snips... and I'm _so_ proud of you for knowing you needed to wait for him to notice. 

"That's a lot more... mature, and reasonable, than I'd have been able to manage. I can't speak _for_ him, but I can tell you I'm fairly damned certain you didn't hurt him. _Haran_ , Snips, if looks could kill, I'd be in the morgue from the look he gave me at the idea of even _me_ touching you like that!" 

She looked sharply at him, her eyes going wider than usual, and she radiated hope to hear that. "Really?" She then giggled a little. "Sorry, Skyguy, not at you for being in mortal peril from him, but… he really did?" It eased something, to hear those words, to be able to think that Rex might have been willing less from duty and friendship than maybe some of the feelings she hoped he had for her.

"Really," Anakin agreed, smiling at her for the giggling, flicking his fingers in an 'I get it' gesture that he hoped she would follow. That hope... yeah, he definitely needed to tell her. "He _really_ did. I couldn't manage enough healing to get it out of you, had to get you awake -- and then you hissed and scratched at me and made it _very_ plain that I was not to touch you..." 

"Really?" She shook her head, carefully, at that idea. "I'm sorry? I don't remember details, really," she told him. "Just impressions?"

"That's okay," he told her, "probably best, actually. But yeah. You were... pretty plain about it. So I commed him -- I think there's a new record for 'bridge to medical'," he told her, hoping to get her to smile in the midst of all of this with the bit of humor. "And once I'd told him what was happening, what -- " he raked his fingers through his hair, trying not to swear as bitterly as he wanted, and looked back at her after a moment. "I told him it wouldn't be much longer until the poisons won past what you wanted, if he wasn't -- if he couldn't -- 

"And I swear he nearly put me on the floor. He told me you might not have much choice, but he wasn't letting anyone take the one you had made from you. Not even me. That he wasn't willing to violate your trust that way." 

Ahsoka had smiled for that little bit about Rex's speed, but then there was the rest of it, and she felt her heart hammering inside her chest. She looked down, eyes closing, and just let that settle in on her raw soul, that Rex had protected her wishes, accepted them, and … and he'd been willing to buck _Skyguy_ over it.

A lot of her uneasy feelings melted away at that. Maybe, just maybe, they would still be okay, even after Rex had been able to sleep on this and think it over outside the press of 'necessary'.

"Thanks, Skyguy. That… yeah, that helps. I've been hating myself a little, I think, for him getting caught up in it." She looked up again, and nodded slightly. "I think, hearing that? I can work out the rest of it."

"I'm glad it does," he answered, feeling how much easier she was in her skin, her heart with a powerful surge of relief, meeting her eyes with a half-smile. "Hoped it would. ...pretty sure that's the first time I've ever been told 'Get out' by a trooper, too. 

"He picked you, Snips. I wouldn't have let you have your way if he hadn't -- we have to protect them." 

"Elek!" She gave a fierce look as she said it, before she half-smiled for her very sharp Force projection of how strongly she believed that. "We do. We really do. They're already… made to do this. Literally. Which is just wrong. But it's in their core being to fight well, so … yeah. And we owe it to them to _not_ add more demands. Which was part of why it was bothering me so much. They're no more free than I was under that drug," she told him. "But I'm going to do everything I can to fix that, and I know you will, and Master Plo, and a lot of the others."

"Too kriffing right," Anakin agreed, so proud of her for that ferocity, for that determination to protect as many of the brothers as they could, to make a difference for them. 

He hadn't made it home in time to free his mother. Was too shackled down by the war to do the rest of what he _wanted_ and free his friends and all of the other slaves on Tatooine -- but there _was_ going to be an end to the clones enslavement, just as soon as they weren't so desperately needed. 

No matter what he had to do to get it. "So. That helps, _'lek_?" 

She nodded, then slowly untwisted her legs, to get them under her. "Take you up on that spar offer after all, Skyguy? Just, ya know, start slow this time."

"Sounds good to me," he agreed, pushing up to his own feet and watching her move, evaluating how sore she appeared to be. Not horribly, just enough that yeah, he'd have to be careful. 

++++

When Ahsoka left her Master, she had broken a new sweat, but this one was an honest to goodness workout sweat that left her feeling fine. She poked her sense of where her boys were, debating going to find Fives and Echo to reassure them, but what she really wanted was to find Rex. Still, she was moved toward the more dutiful reaction, and turned her steps toward the troop area, to find the pair.

They deserved to know she was fine, firsthand.

Fives had turned command over to Zip when his shift rolled to an end and headed for his squad's turf with a sigh of relief... and a lot of worry. That the Commander still hadn't been seen, after -- whatever the kriffing hells that had been -- was worrying him, and he hadn't been able to go down and join in on the sheb-kicking Joc and Appo were handing out because the Captain had hung command on him. 

At least Echo was stuck shipboard with him. He was working out a design to etch into the butt of his Deece when he heard the "Office -- " call sharply interrupted by an equally familiar "Oh _Stop it!_ At ease!" and was on his feet a half-heartbeat later, headed for main with Echo nearly standing on his heels. 

Ahsoka was just finishing her eye-and-head roll that she did when someone stood on pomp with her, but she locked eyes on her two boys and smiled for them. All the Vod'e on board were her boys, but these two had gotten adopted and polished by Rex early on, which made them even more hers.

"Heya, Fives; Echo," she said easily, keeping herself centered inside what her Master had told her. "Wanted to swing by and see how you two were." 

Echo wanted to point out they were absolutely fine and she was the one they were worried about… and realized that might not be the best reaction. So he just shrugged a shoulder. "I'm fine," he told her, watching as that got him a different kind of smile, the one that said he mattered to her as more than just another clone.

They all loved getting that smile.

"Fine, sir," Fives answered -- after staring at her for a moment wondering what in the kriff was in her head that she was worrying about _them_ , "just fine. ...glad to see you out and about, though, since Kix can be such an old grandmother about letting us get back to work and all." 

Ahsoka crinkled her nose up at that. "I'm off duty still, but he didn't order me to quarters. So, came to see how my boys are doing!" She moved to stand closer to them, reaching a hand out to each one. Echo hesitated, then took the one on his side. "Need to say thank you," she added softly.

Fives shook his head even as he took her other hand, shifting in closer to her and locking shoulders with his batcher so that none of the brothers could see her while they talked about this. "You're welcome, Commander -- though really, it's Echo that deserves that, he nailed the _hut'uun_ for you." 

She squeezed both their hands, then shifted to be up on her toes long enough to give Echo a real quick peck on the cheek. "There; a little more thank you," she said, her eyes bright and her lips twisting in a brighter smile. 

Echo couldn't help but blush; physical affection from the Commander wasn't unheard of, but… he never expected to get it. "Doing my duty… though it was my pleasure to take him out for harming you, Commander."

Fives shot his batcher an amused look at the blushing, the edge of thick in his voice, and slowly let go of his Commander's hand. "Joc's still dirtside, probably kicking over cantina tables looking for anyone connected -- on the General's orders. Appo and Hil're with him, sir, no worries there." 

She nodded, and let Echo have his hand back. "Skyguy mentioned while he was mopping the floor with me in the training room," she said with a note of amusement in her voice. "I should let you two get back to your own stuff. I did want you both to know I appreciate _everything_ you did for me, and that I am fine."

Echo wasn't certain if that last was a lie, but Jedi did tend to exaggerate their own well-being. He'd have to let it slide. "Thank you, Commander, for that. We appreciate it."

"What he said, boss," Fives agreed. Okay. If she was sparring with the General, it was fine. She gave them both a smile, then turned and left them, walking quietly toward Rex's quarters. When he wasn't in them, she bit her lip, almost reaching for her sense of him, but decided he needed his space too. With that, she took herself to her quarters to eat again, maybe to sleep.

++++

Rex had locked himself in his own berth until he'd managed to actually sleep and then until the hangover from the 'medicinal' alcohol Kix had started pouring down his throat to get him to talk had worn off. But now he was up again, moving again, and had a Commander to go find. 

That proved to be on the bridge, where she was observing a conference between his General, Koon, and Secura on a possible plan to take out a rather important part of the Separatist supply line. She was standing with her arms crossed, not too unusual, as she stayed back and just listened. When she noticed him, she gave him a quick smile, but turned her attention back to the conference.

He saw, though, that the colors of her lekku intensified, telling him more than the smile that she was pleased to see him.

He moved up closer to listen -- this was Jedi planning not army planning (yet) -- so he wasn't surprised that the General hadn't called for him. He was, however, glad he'd moved as quick as he had. That darkening of her lekku, the pleasure in her smile.. that was good, and he hoped she'd seen his own before she focused back on the Generals. It was easier to relax, knowing she was steady, and fall into listening for what part of this plan was going to be stupidly Jedi reckless and need someone to be reasonable at it. 

Ahsoka shifted her stance a little, less guarded now he was here where she could see him. The conference was actually going smoothly, and was Fleet based in the scope. The idea had originated with Plo Koon, which may have accounted for the relatively rational ideas (except Rex had heard Wolffe talk, and knew Plo Koon was capable of Jedi-Crazy too).

When it broke up, with all three fleets intended to converge on their target locations, Anakin relaxed fully.

"Finally. A plan that might actually put the hurt on them first, instead of us just reacting!" he said.

"Sounded like it, Master. And yeah, we really do need to move to an aggressive stage in this war," Ahsoka said. "Care if I steal the Captain to brush up on zero-gee before we actually have to make the jump?"

Rex glanced at his General, but he didn't seem to even turn a hair as he flicked his fingers at his padawan. "Not a bit. Go on," he added, and Rex took it for dismissal for them both, and moved to follow her. 

"Unless you have other things?" Ahsoka asked, suddenly unsure. She did actually need to check her gear and ability to function in zero-gee, but she could get one of the brothers to help her, if Rex was busy.

Or didn't want to.

That thought chased a little panic through her, that she firmly clamped down on… but not before the colors faded a little.

"Not a bit, Commander," Rex answered, not liking seeing the way her lekku faded for a moment. "So let's go make the Fleet grav techs earn their pay, huh?" 

She brightened at that, and laughed. "Yes!" She didn't _like_ being confined in a ship suit, no matter how well crafted it was or how the helmet fit against her montrals to relay sound to her. It didn't _feel_ right, but if they were going to do Fleet maneuvers, ship to ship might wind up happening, and she needed to be ready.

Plus, she wanted to spend time with Rex, just to be sure he was okay.

Rex flashed a grin back at her and picked up an easy pace to get to one of the big zero-gee training chambers, so glad to hear her laughing -- really laughing -- that it felt like his heart was trying to push itself out of the armor. 

"Right, so… I think I did this once?" Ahsoka warned him. "To make sure my suit would hold up." She grinned as she said it, then continued. "It's like the Fleet expected me to be hard on equipment or something."

"...I can't _imagine_ why they might think that, Commander," Rex replied, his voice deliberately bone-dry as Cody's, "not of you. And alright, so you're shiny at this, nothing for it but to get you some practice." 

"Couldn't ask for a better teacher," she purred at him, still smiling as she found where her suit had been stowed. Then she frowned, looking it over. They'd made it for her with some allowance for her growing, but she was looking at it with dubious eyes. As long as the helmet fit, she could make do with a human-cut suit, but it wouldn't have as much allowance for her lekku and the central one down her back. "This might be a short lesson." She started working the suit on, to see if it was going to stretch to her new height.

"And then a session with the fabricators?" Rex asked, looking at the suit narrowly for a moment, before putting his bucket down to offer her a hand with it. He'd seal it on once they knew what she was wearing to go practice. 

He could get used to hearing her purr like that, he _really_ could, all of her soft, low pleasure wrapped up in her voice... 

"Possibly," she said, rucking her tunic up high enough not to interfere with getting herself in the legs of the suit. With his help, she got into the suit, and it seemed to be just barely large enough. There was a slight pull on her central head tail, but then, it had gotten a bit longer. "No, make that definitely. I can practice in this but… it's not going to give me the freedom of movement I really need to use all my abilities."

She looked at him for a moment before reaching for the helmet. The way his eyes checked her over, making certain the suit was settled made her feel safe. Which was ridiculous; she was more than capable of keeping herself safe. Yet, knowing he would made her heart swell.

He'd never seen her wear so much. The thought was incongruous and a little unsettling, but also true. The full-body pressure suit fit close over her clothing -- except the kama, of course, which was now wrapped around it with her lightsabers at either hand -- and, even more unsettling, completely hid her lekku. He wouldn't be able to judge them at all... and for the first time, he had a little sympathy for the Fleet complaints about not being able to read him and the brothers once they had their sun bonnets on. "Which's the last thing we need. 

"Good call on the practicing, or we'd be finding this out halfway into combat." 

"Thanks," she said, before she settled the helmet into place, wincing as the interior adjusted for her changed montral peaks. When she switched the comms on, she winced more, but eventually found she could modulate the sensitivity in the way it carried soundwaves to her. "How do you stand having your hearing come through a tin can?!" she grumped at him.

"Lot easier when I only have to cope with, what, a third of your range?" he answered, before he did put his bucket on and synch their comms. "Less coming in, less to be distorted." 

"One day I will figure out how you and the brothers sense people with such limited hearing." Sneaking up on a Togruta was difficult because part of their hearing was a spatial awareness effect too. 

She took a moment to look him over now he was fully suited up too. The Vod'e always looked great in gear, but the way Rex wore his was … more beautiful, more sexy, to her than it had a right to be.

He laughed for a moment, shaking his head at her, before moving to the controls to let the grav techs know they needed zero-gee inside for a while. "Situational awareness, Commander." 

"I guess." She watched him for a moment, then started moving a little to be certain she wasn't going to rupture the suit. She really, really didn't like being this confined. "The Temple should hire a squad on to teach younglings how to sneak better," she added.

"Probably wouldn't be a bad idea," Rex agreed, opening the bay doors to slip inside, waiting for her. Zero-gee wasn't his favorite medium, but it was never a bad thing to keep his hand in. "Though you had sneaking down by the time you got to us," he had to admit. 

She beamed, even though he couldn't see the full effect, for that praise. "I was a handful. Master Yoda honestly picked me to be a Padawan to save my clan-mates from any more trouble I might incite," she admitted. She slipped in beside him, then waited for the gravity to change. "Now, you get to keep up with me!" she teased him.

"No, the _General_ gets to keep up with you," Rex replied, "we just watch your sixes and try to keep up, sir." 

"No one I'd rather have to do that, either," she told him, even as she resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him, despite her helmet. She couldn't really stay still, either, and started pushing up on her toes… until the change in gravity actually let her leave the decking. For as aerial as some of her combat could be, she was liking this less, feeling the effect of her changed hearing and not being grounded.

"Glad to hear it," Rex replied, low-voiced, very firmly not thinking about some of the ways he might be able to watch her six after this if she let him and focusing on working with her on getting her comfortable in zero-gee. 

++++

After a couple of hours, in which Ahsoka relearned that she didn't like zero-gee, and then getting the fabricators to remake the suit for her, she finally looked at Rex with a sigh. 

"Suppose I should let you get back to duty?" she said, not certain she liked the idea of separating from him. "Or… maybe food?"

"Should eat something," Rex agreed, no more pleased at the idea of splitting off from her than it looked like she was. "Surprised to hear you admit it, though. Pick something up, then let me catch up on what's happened lately?" 

"Sounds good," she agreed. She shook herself a little, just to throw off the last feeling of being confined. "I came by last night," she said casually as they moved toward the mess. "Wanted to make sure you were okay."

Rex blinked once, cocking his head at her. "I'm all right, Ahsoka... either you didn't knock, or I was still down with Kix..." 

"You weren't in, so probably with Kix," she agreed. "Figured you were busy, and went back to my room." She looked up at him. "I just needed… wanted, to be certain you were okay."

Rex shifted closer to her, curving his hand around her upper shoulder, trying to be as steady for her as he knew was soothing to the Jedi -- and it wasn't hard, given that knowing she was alright made being fine himself so much easier. "I am. Knowing you are... that's what I really needed." 

Saying something like that, admitting he had particular wants and needs, was still... not easy. But he knew it was far easier for him, with his General and his Commander, than for some of his brothers. 

She reached up and covered his hand. "Thank you, Rex." She meant now, she meant always, but especially, she meant for the day before. "We're going to be okay, right?" she checked, keeping that hand on her shoulder.

" _Elek_ ," he answered her, " _cyar'ika_. We're fine." 

"Good, cyare," she said, her lips twisting into a smile that was all for him.

**Author's Note:**

> [Mando'a:](http://mandoa.org/)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Cyare = beloved  
> Cyar'ika = sweetheart  
> Tiganuur = touch  
> Ner cyare = my beloved  
> Gar cyare = your beloved  
> Copaani = want  
> Gar Serim = that's it  
> Jetii = Jedi  
> Elek / 'lek = Yes / yeah  
> Gedet'ye = Please!  
> Utreekov = idiot  
> Or'vor'e = thanks a million  
> Haran = Hell  
> Vod'e = the brothers  
> Hut'uun = coward

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Our Choices, Our Selves](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7497993) by [zinjadu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zinjadu/pseuds/zinjadu)
  * [The Time They Did Choose](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11565219) by [ilyena_sylph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilyena_sylph/pseuds/ilyena_sylph), [Merfilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly)




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